... my my, how can I resist you?

Poignant words, I think you'll agree. World class philosophy from the second greatest thing ever to come out of Sweden. The greatest ever, of course being...

Martin Selinus has taken a further two seconds off of his Easy 100% of The Wizard's Manse. Lots of cool quad boosting in the water/slime and rocket jumping go in to this 1:20.

Oh! Wait! The second greatest thing ever to come of of Sweden is, of course Daniel Magnusson! The man sometimes known as "The Blue Elephant From Jabba's Palace Band" has found some time to do his 473rd improvement to his 100% demos on critters.

• He took three more seconds off of the Easy 100% to get 0:52, faster than the thought to be optimum time. :-)
• And also three seconds off of the Nightmare 100%. 0:53. Very impressive.

Damn. And I was forgetting some of the Swedish pr0n. That can be pretty good too, allegedly. Okay, so Abba were in fact the fourth greatest thing to come out of Sweden. Which reminds me of a joke: What's the smartest thing ever to come out of a woman's mouth?

*Drumroll*

Einstein's cock!

Moving swiftly on, the two outstanding gaps in the table for terror have been filled in fine style...

• Fern has amazed us all by doing a some demos that are not on ikspq5!
  • First he thought that he'd fill the gap for the Nightmare Run with this 0:42, and then said he was finished with this run.
  • But a couple of days later he sent in this much slicker 0:39, and then said he was finished with this run because he'd heard that Jozsef had done a 0:38.
  • But Joe held his demo back for a while to give Fern a shot at the record because he's such a nice guy (in fact, he has won Hungary's "Mr Nice Guy" award for the last three years running!) and, with the help of a well placed Deathknight, America's newest shock-jock managed this 0:38.
• And just to pass an idle hour I did an Easy 100% table filler in 2:08. This run is worth doing just for the mass scrag killing. :-)

The man who inspired Martin Scorsese to make Raging Bull, Amrik Kochhar, has further improved his Easy 100% of jjspq1. This time by two more seconds to get 2:54.

The most talented member of the Stubgaard family, Mads-Peter, has gone to work on Matthias's Nightmare 100% of flo. Using a nice, safe way of killing the two ogres, this 1:24 is thirteen seconds faster than Mr Belz. The zombie kills were very smooth but for some reason Mads didn't even try to use the SNG-curly-bunny-bar-trigger trick at the end.

Don't forget to head on over to the Cheated Site which Stubby has updated with seven new runs from Alex, Joe and Rutger.

And for all of you aspiring recammers out there, Vondur has done an excellent tutorial to show you all how easy it can be. Go there! Learn! Recam!

Finally, I just couldn't finish this update without putting the words The Nolans here in big, bolded letters. The response has been brilliant so far and the feedback to the IRC suggestion very positive. So hopefully I'll have a time, date and channel to announce in the next couple of days. I can't say for sure yet because I have to go away and work that weekend but chances are it will be on the Sunday.

Stay clean, my brothers and sisters. Stay clean.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Eh? What does he mean "They're Up!!"? Is he talking about The Nolans Nominations Results or the Run of the Whenever results? And who does he think he is using multiple !!s?

The answer is, BOTH OF THEM. Firstly, the results of the latest Run of the Whenever are up. It was another very popular competition with a high turnout of entries, but one man 0wn3d j00 all!

And finally, the nominations are in and counted (after a slight delay due to my wife falling ill. Nothing serious, she's much better now. :-)) and so it's time for you all to head on over to The Nolans and choose who will win the highest accolades in the speedrunning world. Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Tell people you don't even know!

Apart from anything else, it's a good excuse to watch the absolute cream of the last year's demos again. I'd forgotten how amazing some of them were. *sniff* And it reminded me that I'll never be that good. *WAAAAAAGGGGHH*

Stay tuned for the latest demos, trivia, news and swearing. Coming later/tomorrow.

A whole week since the last demo update! This really will not do! However, since I've been on holiday for most of the last week I think you'll all forgive me. I came back all fresh, happy and rested, then I went back to work yesterday and I'm now back to my old stressed, grouchy and tired self. :-)

We start the demos off with a three seconds improvement to his recent Easy 100% of The Haunted Halls by Thomas "The Id Death Machine" Stubgaard. This 1:29 has some wicked bunnying, mad axe killing, monster dodging, long range zombie killing, telefragging, and much more besides. Everything, in fact, to make it a MUST DOWNLOAD.

Staying with Stubby for a minute, he took his whore hammer (like a bitch-slapping stick but slightly larger) to my Nightmare 100% of n3sp03 and improved it by 62 seconds to get 6:33. Lot's of mad play and a neat way of killing the two annoying fire shamblers.

And now, some demos on the new "Kwag" maps.

• First, three heart warming demos on fc_coag .
  • Daniel Andersson went on a killing spree and managed to do the Easy 100% in 1:17.
  • Then he did loads of twisting and slope jumping and just about manages to avoid falling into the void to do the Easy Run in 0:57.
  • But a shambler telefrag and some loony bunnying means that this 0:45 from Jozsef Szalontai takes the record by 12 seconds.
• Moving on to dilcoa.
  • We've had the first new demo for quite a while from the Uddevalla Bad Boy, Fredrik Eckers. He used a curvey slope bunny around the bars to do the Easy Run in 1:02.
  • But this record stood for about ten minutes and then the Uddevalla Big Boy, Carl Tholin, showed his class, getting to the top much quicker using a deathknight grenade jump and then making faster kills at the end to get 0:38, a 24 second improvement.
• And to finish off we have a superb, inspirational, dynamic, exciting, sexy Nightmare 100% by Me on terror. It's enough to make your packet overflow. 2:35.

Next we have the lean, green, photosynthesising machine otherwise known as Fern. No prizes for guessing that he has improved his Nightmare Run of ikspq5 for the sixth time. This time he manages a three second improvement to 1:04 by using a sloping crate lid jump back from the GL instead of jumping around all the boxes.

The man who has inspired more James Brown songs than any other speed runner, Amrik Kochhar, has improved his Easy 100% of jjspq1 by one second to get 2:56. A much faster start and then loads of mistakes near the end. :-)

Getting back to Jozsef for the final demo of this update, he has run in a one second improvement to his Easy Run of one of my favourite custom levels, hayduke1. I'm not sure where the gain comes from to get this 0:27, I can only assume that Joe just keeps getting faster and faster.

Over on the QdQ Improvements page mad, bad Valeriy Burmistrov has produced a (blue) hell of a good demo. Slide on over and check it out. (Or you could just use this link, I suppose).

There's only a couple of days left to get your nominations in for The Nolans, then the proper voting can start. Some of the nominations have been a little suprising, such as Johan for "All Time Great" and Ilkka for "Rookie of the Year", but generally it's looking very good. And don't forget to get your Palace of Eight demos in before Mondays deadline.

And so, I'll leave you with this thought: While I was away I managed to catch up on a lot of reading, and I was amazed at just how many Quake/speedrunning references there were in classical British literature. I won't bore you with most of them, but this one from the great Robert Burns was too good to ignore. (Don't worry if it doesn't make too much sense to you. It's a well known fact that 76% of English people and an amazing 93% of Scottish people can't understand a word he says either).

...wi'oot mach pain, I hawv tha red, owf slope the terr'ble fiendy boost,
Ma throo tha eire owr monst'rous hoarde, ta grab tha quaddy haggis there.

I wanted to fit in the line upon ma kelt I hung ma spawn as well but I couldn't think how to fit it in. I hope at least one person found this funny. I laughed so hard while I was writing it I very nearly pissed myself. And with that thought fresh in you minds, goodnight.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Ilkka was being nostalgic (and intoxicated) the other night when I spoke to him on ICQ. He was counting how many updates he had done for SDA, and how many demos he had posted. Just for the fun of it, he starting counting my updates too, and how many demos I've posted, and guess what.... To this day we've posted exactly the same amount of demos for SDA!! 604 each, and a total of 1208, which is more than fifth the total amount of demos on SDA, amazing isn't it :-)

Don't forget to vote for The Nolans. It's coming along pretty well. It's going to be very exciting to see the final outcome.

Also, be sure to check out the RotW. I think all my screwups has been fixed by now....

Hey there, everyone. Seems like Stubby has had one or two teething problems with the latest RotW. Looks like it's all sorted now, though, so don't be too hard on the poor dumb Dane. :-)

Also, you might be wondering why we have only added four of the five Coagula Contest maps to the archive. Well, as superb a single player level as Necros's entry was, it was also the only one that used custom code and sounds; all the others worked fine as stand alone .bsp maps. Therefore it would have meant writing a new stats prog just for this one map.

Speaking of which, it seems like our good buddy Fern over at TeamFERN has got hold of slightly the wrong end of the stick regarding comps and coags , bless him. :-)

In the words of Big Arnie in Conan the Destroyer, "Enough talk!". Let's get on with the demo round-up. As always, we'll start with the Id improvements.

• Martin Selinus has used a very cool trick (a double grenade jump off a dog) to improve Fabian's Nightmare Run of The Installation - The Long Way by one second to get 0:45. As usual, Marvin has threatened to improve this when he has time. Will it be a 0:44 or a 0:43? Place your bets...
• And secondly, a coop improvement. Thomas "Lag Master" Stubgaard and myself, Richard "No Funny Nickname" Skidmore have totally owned Flecker and Waggy on The Tower of Despair with this 1:14 Nightmare 100%, seven seconds faster than the Eye-merican duo. This demo was fueled (on my side) by homemade strawberry and rhubarb wine, we thought about trying to take another second off the time but by then my eyesight was failing...

Only three other demos for this update, but then again it's only been two days. :-)

• Amrik Kochhar has gone medieval on the arse of DanielA's jjspq1 Easy 100% with this 19 second improvement. 2:57. There's not much scope for route changes on this map, this is simply faster running.
• Arturo Garcia Lasca has wasted no time improving his Easy 100% of chessp1. This two seconds improvemnet arrived even before the last update was posted. Fast work indeed. 0:56.
• And finally, Jonny Andersson has done a proper improvement to my Nightmare 100% of sgc5. He managed to take seven seconds off by doing proper bunnies and some better play around the key room to get 1:42. Okay, Pretty-Balls, you win. Have the stupid record. :-)

That's all for today. I'm going away for the weekend as from tomorrow, so if you see my ICQ on on Saturday or Sunday then Abi's brother is using my PC to surf for pr0n, so please feel free to send him an "Oi! Simon! Put your dick away!" message.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

I fucking suck! I didn't notice an obvious mistake in the progs which meant you could collect both GL's instead of taking the Quad and one GL. I'm deeply sorry for all this trouble, but I guess you just have to download the progs again. Get it here. Thanks to Brent and Alex for pointing it out to me. I've prolonged the deadline with 2 days because of these screwups. Sorry everyone...

The first contest in 2002 will be a 'mini' contest, followed by a 'real' contest as soon as this one ends. Check out the rules and download the progs for the new contest here. Good luck!

The new maps are all part of the Coagula mapping contest:

• dilcoa - I See Dead People by Dilvish. The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map dil_xxx.
• fc_coag - Crisis After Crisis by Fat Controller. The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map cris_xxx.
• scream - Star Scream by Tronyn. The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map scre_xxx.
• terror - The Terracotta Terror by Tronyn. The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map terr_xxx.

You can grab all four maps from here, and read a review of all the maps here.

• Jozsef Szalontai has done the Easy Run on scream in 0:16, and the Easy Run on terror in 0:26.

Enjoy!

UPDATE 6:20 PM
Of course I had to screw something up!...Get the corrected readme/progs here.

Typical, eh? I always find the hardest thing about writing an update is coming up with the title. But this time there were three obvious ones to choose from, so I decided to use them all. :-)

We'll begin with two MUST DOWNLOAD Id Easy 100% demos.

• Thomas Stubgaard has again been swinging his mighty weapon in The Haunted Halls. This 1:32 is two seconds faster than his previous but it's one of those demos that looks like it should be much faster. Go figure.
• And of course, if we're doing Id updates we would expect to see one by Jozsef Szalontai. This time around he decided to improve his The Nameless City Easy 100%, and not just by one or two seconds but by fourteen seconds! Should have been 15 really but he started playing like a big girl [1] at the final secret. 2:44

It's been a long while since we've seen a jzblue improvement, but Martin Selinus has bucked the trend and improved his Easy 100% of jzblue_2 by one second by using even more stupidly fast play. This MUST DOWNLOAD 0:12 features the first of todays intermission kills, this one courtesy of a quadded grenade.

It's been idiot week here at SDA. Those that saw the last demo update within the first two hours that it was posted or downloaded the big.dz from the UK mirror may have seen Amrik Kochhar's "Nightmare Run" on jjspq1. Those with a keen eye, like Nolan (who kindly removed it from the update), will have noticed that it was in fact recorded on Easy skill. So Amrik is an idiot for sending it in and I am an idiot for not noticing. However, Amrik is also a hero because within 24 hours of realising his mistake he had recorded a legitimate Nightmare Run in 1:06, three seconds faster than Thomas. :-)

Staying on jjspq1, Daniel Andersson has gone 100% crazy.

• He improved his previous Nightmare 100% by forty five(!) seconds to 3:37. Good work, my fluffy young Swede.
• And then he did a table filler Easy 100% in 3:16. I wonder if P-B will try to beat this by one second.

It's always a happy occasion when someone you think has shuffled off this speedrunning coil and disappeared forever suddenly pops up out of nowhere with a couple of demos. We all thought he'd got so high that he'd floated out of Earth's gravity and drifted off into the void, but here, beginning his push for "1000 demos submitted" with two improvements to my czg_moon Nightmare 100%, first by twenty five seconds to 3:41, and then by a further sixteen to 3:25, I give you Mr Justin Fleck! Welcome back, d00d! (Expect another Optic demo in 2003) ;-)

Next we have two very cool demos on prison from two of the more bizarre denizens of the SDA frogpool.

• First to arrive was a bitch-kicking Easy 100% from Carl Tholin. He came up with a cool new route to destroy Anders's previous by seven seconds to 0:49. This is our second grenade based intermission kill of the update.
• But Carl has lost his Easy Run to Basil de Vries by one second to 0:26. This is an excellent run, probably the best I've seen from Basil. It's just a shame he seems to have used the .txt from his Nightmare 0:27. This is, of course, not unusual for our friend in Holland. The mistakes and insane ramblings in his .txt files are legendary. I'm just waiting for the day when the time, the skill and the name of the map are all wrong. :-)

Which all brings us nicely on to Arturo Garcia Lasca. Ken, as some would call him, has sent in three Easy 100% demos of his usual high quality (I presume I'm not the only one who's noticed just how much his playing has come on recently?) and also a new profile. If we were giving a Nolan Award for the longest profile this would win by a mile.

• First was evilpool where he took thirteen seconds off of his previous time to get 0:54. This demo also has an intermission kill, and a proper INB kill at that!
• Then he started Fraction Fighting[tm] on escape and improved Jonny's 1:04 to 1:03.
• And his final demo is a beauty. He changed the route on chessp1 to produce a 3 second improvement to Jonny's time. 0:58.

Our final demo for this update is by me. I reclaimed the Nightmare 100% of sgc5 from Jonny by six seconds to get this reasonable 1:49. Beat this by exactly one second. Not two or three or ten. One second. I dare you.

The response to The Nolans has already been amazing, the number of nominations is piling up nicely. I must apologise to anyone that uses a browser other than IE who tried to vote on Saturday night or Sunday. Due to my sloppy HTML coding there was a problem seeing anything other that the top of the page. Big thanks to Stefan for spotting this and showing me what I did wrong.

And finally, since I've mentioned it before, I thought I'd tell you that I'd finally had a chance to have a good play on my "new" 1.5Ghz P4. And what a total pile of wank Windows XP really is. As far as I'm concerned Billy Boy can shove his new licensing up his arse. Sideways. I've now re-formatted the disk in it to erase any trace of that hateful operating system and I'm trying to find either my Windows 98 or SuSE install CD. I will get to coop in my own house soon!!

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

[1] The management here at SDA would like to point out that the writers use of the expression "a big girl" was meant as harmless fun and was in no way sexist or sizest. It is a matter of public record that Morfans has got nothing against large women. In the past he has had things IN them, but not against them. Goodnight.

It rarely happens, but once again SDA has been voted 'Site of the Day' at planetquake.com. Thanks to PQ.com and to Jube for giving us a chance to bask in glory...

Quake done Quick has been updated twice in the last week! Here's what Stefan and Ingmar had to say:

• Since our Scourge done Slick comes with various pak files, we provided MS-DOS users with a batch file to cope with the installation. We now have a similar installer for Amiga users, courtesy of Thomas Veress. The installer is available from the Scourge done Slick page, or from Aminet
• Something funny (but not necessarily new) just caught our attention as it recently became "competitive": Fallout speedrunning. Yes, you've read right - speedruns through the Interplay RPG "Fallout", or even side-phenomenas just as "finish the game without killing anything", have been practised for quite some time already, as the game is backed by a huge fan-base which is producing even the weirdest stuff (take this as a compliment :). The guys at Fallout Wastelands now called for a contest code-named Fallout done Quicker to finish the game as fast as possible, in order to beat their very first "Quick Run" through Fallout 1 done by FWL owner Neelon Rokk. The contest page with all it's belonging informations can be found here. Although it would be doubtful if any of us "Quakers" will enter that contest, I thought it may be an interesting thing to post, at least because I'm a Fallout lover by myself. Keep that thing rolling!

Note: You only have 1 vote for the Nolans! Please read The Nolans carefully before you vote, thanks.

You remember the heady days of 2001. The smiles, the runs, the tears, the demos and the... errr... other stuff as well.

It's nearly a month late, but please help us to decide who was great and who sucked in the last year of Quake Speedrunning.

Ladies and Gentlemen. It's my privilege, pleasure, honour, pleasure and privilege to announce...this.

It's been quite a quiet week demo-wise, but that's suited me just fine as I've spent the week working on something else. You remember waaaay back in December when Thomas said we were going to have a little Christmas suprise for you? Well, it's finally almost ready! A little late, I know, but what the hell. Just keep watching this space.

And while you're waiting, pass the time by feasting your eyes on these bastards...

Markus Taipale has produced another outstanding demo in the Chambers of Torment. He used the same hellish fiend boost (HFB) as he did in his recent Easy Run to improve his Nightmare Run by one second to 0:28.

For the squillionth time Timo Nieminen has recaptured his Easy 100% of The Crypt of Decay from Martin. This time he managed to be one second faster by using the intermission nail bug (INB) to get the final kill. This crazy 1:08 is a MUST DOWNLOAD.

Aleksander Osipov has done both of the Easy demos on wishes. But since I haven't got the map and the link is down at the moment I haven't seen them yet so I can make no comments (MNC). So in "Classic SDA" style I shall just list the facts. :-)

• Easy Run in 0:16, one second faster (OSF) than Matthias.
• Easy 100% in 2:07, eleven seconds faster than Nolan.

Much as I don't like to feed his ego, Jonny Andersson's demos just keep getting more impressive.

• He has done an excellent Easy Run of foon one seconds faster than Daniel by doing the long bunny to slope jump (LB2SJ) much earlier. 0:38.

Actually, I take what I just said back. This next demo is rubbish.

• He beat my table filler Nightmare 100% of sgc5 by one second to get 1:55. FFS P-B, beating a Morfy table filler (MTF) by one second?? Even I can do better than that!

And finally, people often ask me why people spend large amounts of time speedrunning. Is it for the fame? The adulation? The sex? The sense of achievement? The fun? Well, now the truth can be revealed. We do it for the possiblility of the big buck sponsorship deals, beautifully illustrated here by Stubby.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

I advise everyone with just a slight interrest in Q1 mapping to check out the Coagula mapping contest which has just been released after more than three months of waiting. Fern had already reviewed it in advance and this is what he had to say about the maps included in the contest. Fat Controller took the win, but I personally think the other maps are just as good. But go check them out yourselves, you won't be disappointed!

The cheated site has been updated once again with 4 slick demos by Rutger Baks. There's still alot of tablefillers to be done...

It's not very often that you see a Jozsef Id demo owned, but I'm sure you remember his superb Azure Agony Nightmare Run from less than two weeks ago? Well, it has prompted Markus "The Master" Taipale to fight back and come up with several major route tweaks. I won't spoil the demo by telling you what they are but in total they save him two complete seconds. This 0:52 is an absolute MUST DOWNLOAD. Back to you, Mr Szalontai?

We continue to tidy up after the QdQ productions. This time we have a demo from tRR (yes, that's right, the first one) by Ilkka Kurkela that was faster than the Evan's record of the time but was never added to the tables. It has since been destroyed by Markus but this 0:36 of The Necropolis is still very much worth seeing again, even if only for the backwards grenade jump...

Keeping to the superseded QdQ runs for a minute, there have recently been two Qd100Qwav records that no longer represent the state of the art but had already been recammed by Vondur. They are Termination Central in 1:37 by Stubby and Castle of the Damned in 1:10 by Alex. The recams are too good to be wasted so they have been added to the .dzs for the records and to save you from having to download the whole lot again they are included in the big demo .dz at the end of the update. Aren't we good to you???

I don't think I've ever seen a bad Robert Axelsson demo, and if he keeps saying nice things about me in his .txt files I will never say I have. :-) He took my advice from the last update about edom seriously, and then he just got carried away...

• He skipped the quad on the Easy Run and managed to run in a six second improvement to 1:05.
• But then he also skipped the SSG to save another two seconds. 1:03. Both of these runs should maybe be one seconds faster. Check out his less than optimal rocket boosts to the exit to see what I mean. :-)
• Then he tackled the fiendishly difficult Nightmare run skipping both the Quad and SSG!! He improved Justin's record by 9 seconds to get 1:17. This has a nice egg demo with it showing just how lucky those damned ogres can be sometimes...

Arturo Garcia Lasca has not been slacking either. He went to work on epoch producing four very slick looking demos.

• First he improved his own Easy Run by one second to get 0:56.
• Then he took two seconds off of Evan's Easy 100% with some lovely looking moves. 1:43. Impressive.
• And finally he pissed all over Thomas's Nightmare run, first improving it by six seconds to 1:22.
• And then by another six seconds to 1:16.

Speaking of Thomas Bergendorff: You'll remember that this is the person that said that the JJSPQ maps were boring for running on? Well, he's sent in another two cool runs on them anyway. :-)

• He has recaptured the Nightmare Run of jjspq1 back from DanielA by two seconds to get 1:09.
• And improved his Easy Run of jjspq2 by one second to get 0:48.

Back to Ilkka again. He was not too impressed with Anders's Easy 100% of n3sp03 so he recorded this fifty eight second improvement to 4:23. And then he wasn't very impressed with that either so he recorded this 4:11 a few days later. C'mon someone! Do a 4:00 or less!

Finishing off with the "Single Demo Posse".

• Fern improved his Nightmare Run of ikspq5 by one second and posted it up on TeamFern but didn't send it to us. Well, we found it, took it and posted it anyway. :-) 1:07.
• Wim Loones has found a cool new jump over the bars on kjsp1 which allowed him to do this 0:58, two seconds faster than his previous record.
• Amrik Kochhar took me completely by surpise with this demo. He has managed another one second improvement to his Nightmare 100% of "The Ugly Map" : beach1. Arguments continue over whether this 0:18 should go on the unbeatable records list.
• Last, and from the picture below probably least, we have an Easy Run of cdespair by Jonny Andersson. He did it in 0:44, two seconds faster than previously. P-B has also sent in a revised profile just to remind us that he is probably the most ridiculous person ever to submit a demo to SDA. ;-)

Enjoy the demos. I'm SURE that Stubby wanted me to mention something else in this update but for the life of me I can't remember what it was. :-)

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Word up, my Brothers. Power to ya face, and all that bollocks.

This is just by way of being a short update to fix a couple of mistakes, omissions and sabotages that have crept in to the last few updates. Then to finish up we have a reminder of why this page is sometimes called "The Robert Axelsson Custom Run Extravaganza!"

But wait... Did I say sabotage? Yes, it unfortunately looks as if Nolan has taken to waiting until I've done an update and then adding several bad links and occassionally deleting whole paragraphs so that it looks like I've forgotten to include some of the demos. It's the only explanation. Otherwise it would mean that I'd been making mistakes, and that idea is just far too ridiculous to even began to entertain. (sic)

To start off I'd like to say a big Quakey thanks to our Doomy buddy Adam Hegyi for pointing out the obvious mistake that I ma.., I mean that Stubby made by not noticing that Martin Selinus's Easy 100% of Termination Central from his recent Episode 3 marathon is in fact one second quicker than his old Qd100Qlite2 demo. So here for your enjoyment is the official second fastest Easy 100% of Termination Central. 1:12. And if anybody, and I mean ANYBODY, points out that Martin probably got a whole load of 1:11s before getting his QdQ time I may resort to sarcasm.

I would also like to apologise on Stubby's behalf to Marlo Galinski for the delay in posting his latest czg03 Easy 100% demo. You see, Thomas was too busy selling crack to school children to remind me that Marlo had done yet another 10 second improvement to his previous time to get 4:11.

And to round off the update, it looks like Robert Axelsson has been hard at his studies since getting back to Uni as he has produced four new demos in the last couple of days.

• Firstly, he seems to have taken my comments in the last update about his pb2 Nightmare Run to heart and he quickly improved it to 0:21. Now, if anyone fancies a real challenge they might like to go for the 0:20 by skipping the quad and doing a "double grenade plus ogre grenade" jump instead. It might just about get you high enough...
• Then he destroyed Optic's times for the Runs on grc4beta and reminded us why he is known (as usual, probably by me only) as "Mr Air-Control".
  • First to fall was the Easy Run which he did in 0:56, three seconds faster.
  • For the Nightmare Run he decided to run it like a real man and skipped the Pentagram. He somehow survived and completed the run seven seconds faster than Justin and one second faster than his Easy Run. 0:55
• To finish off he improved the Easy Run of a map that I can't decide if I love or hate, edom. He did it one second faster than Justin to get 1:11. Not much more to say, really. Except that I'm not sure that the quad is actually needed to do this run. I might be wrong, of course...

That's all for tonight, enjoy the demos. And remember: slappin' to ya biatch, keep strokin' it long.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

...and a whole shit-load of other demos besides. I turn my back for one week and what happens? A pile of demos the size of an elephant turns up! And ohhhhh, the quality! Come on: put your hand on the screen. Just feel the quality of these demos... Starting, as always, with the MUST DOWNLOAD Id improvements.

• Jozsef Szalontai has once again proved how he earned his Bunny Machine name. He has taken one second off the Nightmare Run of Azure Agony, usurping Markus by one second. The only differences I could see between this 0:54 and Markus's record is a small spawn boost near the end and maybe a slightly faster vore kill at the end. Frighteningly good.
• But if Joe is the Machine, then Markus Taipale has proved he is the Bunny Master by improving his Easy run of The Pain Maze by a full three seconds to 0:41. The biggest saving is the inclusion of the second quad boost at the end (just like in QdQwav except without the red armour), but just check out the opening bunny sequence: pixel perfect.
• Timo Nieminen has gone a-romping and a-stomping and a-hooting and a-hollering through The Crypt of Decay in an outrageously fast time. This 2:05 Nightmare 100% is eighteen seconds faster than his previous time. To sum this demo up. Run, dodge, run, dodge, run, dodge, get the GL, death, death, death, death, death, quad, DEATH, DEATH, exit.
• Next we have two Id records that aren't records at all. They have been blanked out of the tables for *ages* because they were going to be included in Qd100Qlite2 but they have recently been beaten. So enjoy these demos, they show you the second best Easy 100%s ever recorded on these levels. (BTW. Don't forget to check the tables to see the new record times. Thomas has just updated the tables with all new QdQ project 100% records. :-))
  • Martin Selinus did Termination Central in 1:13, two seconds faster than Marlo.
  • And for our last demo we have Ilkka Kurkela doing a lightning fast 0:57 through The Sewage System. There is also a very cool recam of this demo by WarKosign included in the .dz.

Marlo should be proud. His hc map has turned into a fight to the death with once again more demos being done on it than any other map this update. Last time Arturo Garcia Lasca walked away with every Single Player record. This time he fought an all out war with Aleksander Osipov to try and hold on to them. We start off with the score at...

Ken 4 : 0 Alex

• The Nightmare 100% was the first to go with me getting a pretty good 1:19, 12 seconds faster. But that record lasted all of about 6 hours before Alex sent in this 1:14.
  Ken 3 : 1 Alex
• The Nightmare Run saw Ken improve his own run by one second to 0:46 before Alex took this one from him, improving it by one more second to 0:45. He then added a fiend boost to get this shit hot 0:37, eight seconds faster still!
  Ken 2 : 2 Alex
• The Easy 100% was a far simpler affair. Alex just cruised in with this 0:59, two seconds faster than Ken, then this 0:54 and finally this 0:53.
  Ken 1 : 3 Alex
• But the real dirty fighting came on the Easy Run. First Alex took the record by one second with this 0:43.
  Ken 0 : 4 Alex
• Then Ken came over all "Mel Gibson" and with a cry of "They may take our map, but they'll never take our Easy Run!" he fought back with this 0:42.
  Ken 1 : 3 Alex
• But ownage cannot be denied. And with one final huge effort Alex proved who's the daddy by sending in this 0:41.
  Ken 0 : 4 Alex

Nice work, gentlemen. I've really enjoyed watch this develope over the last week. But now on with the rest of the demos.

I'm going to start with this demo by Amrik "Coca"-Kochhar because the Easy Run of scoop is quite special to me as it was one of the first demos I ever did. It took me literally weeks to do my 1:28, which Optic soon improved to 1:17 using the same route and now, two and a half years later, Amrik has added another small RJ to get 1:15.
Actually. Now I look at it I think Kochhar-Cola would have been better.

This week has also seen the return of Mads-Peter Stubgaard, occasionally known in these parts as Stubby Jr or perhaps Even Stubbier. Mads has had a short break from speed running as he's been very "busy" since his brother introduced him to the twin concepts of beer and porn...

• His returning demo was the first ever Stubgaard family Rogue demo. He did the Nightmare Run of r1m1 in the impressive time of 1:21, three seconds faster than Jan.
• The then moved on to do both 100% demos of bast.
  • First the Nightmare 100%. He has come up with a new route for the "middle" section which allowed him to exit in 1:28, 6 seconds faster than Andrey.
  • And then the Easy 100% in the same time of 1:28, 9 seconds faster than Andrey.
  • Just to give you all an insight into Danish life, here is a picture of the Stubgaards on New Years Eve. There is another, let's call it "different", picture of Thomas from that night that I will be posting next time unless a large pile of money arrives at my house in the next few days....

Hopping across the water to Sweden we find that Daniel Andersson has not been idle.

• He did the Nightmare Run of jjspq1 seven seconds faster than Thomas to get 1:11.
• Then he did a tablefiller Nightmare 100% on the same map in 4:22.
• And finally from Daniel we have a demo featuring, as far as I know, a brand new, never before seen trick! He did the Nightmare Run of cdes in 1:15, 2 seconds faster than Justin. This demo includes a fish boost, but not in the way you'd think: this is a fish bite boost and the fish is sticking out of the wall at the time. Now, since the damage was only 2 the boost was very small, but he's still the only person ever to do a WallFish-BiteBoost. :-)

Staying on that sticky-out bit at the top of Europe for the final demo of this update, Robert Axelsson's Christmas with Elin seems to have done him good. He has improved Justin's Nightmare Run of pb2 by three seconds to 0:22 with some mad bunnying and some clever play. :-) But he was very slow to move off of the start and this is a very low decimal...

Enjoy the demos. I'd love to stay around and talk some more but I've got to go and polish my purple rod.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

I promised you two mouth waterers, and here they are. If you're disappointed with these then there is no hope for you at all.

Firstly, Jozsef Szalontai has done what he said he would and taken another second off of the Easy 100% of Castle of the Damned. Believe me. This 0:49 is a Must Download.

And for today's second major treat Martin Selinus has improved Marlo's Easy 100% Marathon of Episode 3 : The Netherworld by thirty four seconds to get this Must Download 8:42. The play here is relentless. Watch and learn.

And now for the rest of tonight's show...

By far the most fiercely fought map this time was hc. However, one person came barging through to take all four records for total ownage.

• Right after the last update Arturo Garcia Lasca sent in this blistering 0:44, four seconds faster than Oldrich. And that was pretty much the end of the Easy Run, but that didn't stop demos flooding in from Jonny (0:47), Fern (0:46), Amrik (0:45) and finally Alex who equalled the 0:44 but far too late.
• The competition for the Nightmare Run was even hotter.
  • First to submit was Oldrich Vohradnik who got things started with this 0:53.
  • Fern improved that by two seconds, 0:51. Then another second, 0:50. Then another second, 0:49. During this time Oldrich and Jonny were trying to get back in on the action but their times just kept being beaten.
  • And finally Ken put a stop to it all with this 0:47, several hours before Alex once again sent in the same time.
• And while he was on a roll Arturo filled the empty 100% slots.
  • He did the Easy 100% in 1:01.
  • And the Nightmare 100% in 1:36.

Arturo also filled the empty slots in the dnspq1 table.

• He did a very impressive Easy 100% in 0:37. Too good to be called a table filler.
• And the Nightmare 100% in 1:02. Table filler. ;-)

Which brings us on to jjspq1.

• Now, last time I said that all the improvements were six seconds and wondered if someone was going to do a 1:06. A big thankyou to everyone that has pointed out that in fact it was an eight second improvement followed by a four second one. There were so many demos I got confused!! What I probably should have said was that the average improvement was six seconds. And just to keep the theme going Jozsef did indeed do a 1:06.
• But then he ruined it all by sending in this rather good 1:04. Grrrrr
• Thomas Bergendorff decided to do a massive improvement on Ander's Nightmare Run, but in the end all he could manage was this 1:18, one second faster.

Marlo Galinski has improved his own jjspq2 Easy 100% by four seconds to get 1:32. There is a fifteen second section just after he gets the armour that is pure vintage Marlo. Non-stop nails into a whole load of grunts and enforcers and I don't think a single nail is wasted. :-) Then he gets the SSG and starts shooting walls and stuff, but the nailgun bit rocks!

Only one demo on prison this time but it's a beauty. Basil de Vries has improved Carl's Nightmare Run by one second to get 0:27. Damn, Basil. I'm impressed!

I decided to improve my Nightmare 100% on n3sp03 because my previous one was not particularly good. So I did this 7:35, 75 seconds faster which is much better.

And now, The c00pz. Not too many comments about them I'm afraid because I actually fell asleep 10 minutes ago and am typing on auto-pilot. :-)

Anders and Martin did a good amount of quality coops.

• First, they have done what looks to be a couple of optimum runs on evilpool, getting 0:06 (0:07) for the Easy Run and 0:06 (0:07) for the Nightmare Run.
• They also did the Easy Run of hc in 0:33 (0:44) using a nifty SSG boost to the secret.
• And finally they did the Easy 100% of altus2 in 0:27 (030).

And finally for tonight, the man voted "Most likely to father 1000 bastard offspring", Carl Tholin and the man voted "Most likely to eat Carl's bastard offspring", Daniel Andersson have done the Easy Run of czg03 in 0:48 (1:02).

Peace.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Jeeeeeesus what a week. I'm afraid I haven't even got time to include all the demos in this update. This will just be all the Single Player demos on the new maps and will probably be quite a short update. (Short for one of my updates, anyway). The coops and the two mouth-watering Id improvements will have to wait until the weekend. (Unless someone else posts them first :-)). And a big, big CHEERS to Mr Thomas Stubgaard for sorting out the demo uploading and updating the tables while I'm writing this. Truly he is the Viking Angel. :-) And now, on to more serious news...

This is indeed a sad day for SDA. It has been brought to our attention that the Easy 100% demo on hc that was submitted by Ilkka Kurkela is in fact an illegal demo. Does this mean that Ilkka is a filthy, cheating wh0re? Will Stubby and myself need to take our baseball bats to Finland and teach him what happens to people that try to sully The Archive? Well, no. It was just due to the fact that he did the demo over two years ago and Marlo added three more monsters before releasing the map to us. A genuine mistake but sorry, Ilks, the demo's got to go.

But that's not all for this map today. Oldrich Vohradnik has got his name on the tables for the first time with this 0:52 Easy Run. He then quickly improved it to 0:50 and then finally to 0:48. Not bad for a new boy. ;-)

We finally have some demos on jjspq1!

• Leading the way into the Easy Run we once again have Oldrich. He got things started with this 1:24.
• It was only minutes later that Thomas Bergendorff pitched in with this 1:16 six second improvement. (Morfans can't subtract: it was 8 seconds)
• But six second improvements seem to be the norm for this run as BlacK_OuT won the day with this 1:12. (4 seconds) Who's going to do the 1:06?
• Honourable mentions to Anders Nordensten and Rutger Baks who's demos arrived far, far too late to make it on to the tables.
• Anders has done a whole stack of really rather cool demos for this update. Starting with this 1:19 Nightmare Run.

Things have been just as busy on jjspq2.

• We received three demos for the Easy Run but the first one was the best. Thomas B discovered the slope jump shortcut at the end and produced this 0:49. Bad luck to BlacK_OuT and Anders who floundered in his wake.
• "Ice" Bergendorff also did the Nightmare Run in the same time. 0:49.
• Marlo and Anders both submitted Easy 100% demos, but Marlo's 1:36 quite frankly pissed all over Anders's effort.
• But Anders was the king of the Nightmare 100% with this 1:49.

After the initial mad rush on spring2 things have slowed down. We only received three demos but they are from three of the top players in SDA history!

• Jozsef Szalontai has done the Nightmare Run in the same time as his Easy Run with an even more spectacular double grenade jump. 0:05. Valeriy Burmistrov sent in an equally impressive demo but two days too late.
• It seems that people had trouble opening Basils Nightmare 100% demo. So just to help you all to avoid the stress of not being able to see a Nightmare 100% on this fine map I did a little improvement. 1:23, 50 (hee hee) seconds faster.

Okay, I was joking. Only two of those are actually great players. Joe sucks at Quake. :-P

After a slightly slow start prison has turned out to be the most hotly contested map of this update, mostly because people keep finding new ways to get around and over the buildings.

• Carl Tholin has taken a second off of Thomas's Easy Run with a very cool route. 0:27.
• Amrik Kochhar has improved his table filler Nightmare Run demo by four seconds to get 0:32.
• Thomas improved that by another second to get 0:31.
• But nothing was going to prevent Carl, The Unstopable Love Machine from owning both runs on this level. 0:28.
• Dan Stukanev also sent in a Nightmare run but it was later than Thomas's and slower than Carl's.
• The first Easy 100% on this strange little map was this 1:06 from BlacK_OuT.
• But a different route allowed Anders to improve this by ten seconds to 0:56.
• Then Anders used the same route to do the Nightmare 100% in 0:57. This looks like a faster run than the Easy 100% but a couple of slight mistakes drag it back to one second slower...

And finally, Anders continues to go mad on the excellent n3sp03.

• He did the Easy Run in 1:28, four seconds faster than Kimmo and equal to the 2P coop time.
• Then he filled the gap for the Easy 100% with this 6:22. I was a little confused about his tactic of getting all the way to the exit and then dropping down and going to get the last secret. "Surely," I thought, "That's a pile of crap!"
• And sure enough he did an all together better demo a couple of days later. 5:21, 61 seconds faster.

That's yer lot for today. My new PC is finally unpacked! Abi, my wife, got so fed up of the box being in the middle of the floor that she unpacked it and set it up while I was out. I still haven't turned it on yet, though.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

...Of 2002, that is :) One year has passed, and we welcome the new year with much anticipation. Several QdQ projects should be finished in 2002, and the speedrunning scene has never been as exciting as it is now, at least in my opinion.

For those of you interrested in DOOM speedrunning, I can reveal that there is a gigantic update up at Compet-N. It contains over 200 demos and there's a new speedrunning contest as well!

Ingmar's Ill Mind Moves has been updated with two new versions of his Quake redone Quick for both Linux and Amiga, plus there's a Windows 2000 patch available.

The Quake done Quick site has been updated with an AVI version of Quake done Quick with a Vengeance. Warning!! The download is 165MB!

I hope you all had a fun New Years Eve. Let's all make 2002 a year to remember!